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Thursday, August 14, 2008

on wednesday, i went to school n found out from vanessa the suddenly darius put us on duty
so i was lyk omg
especially cuz there was not going to be any seniors around
but i was told that darius tried calling me at nite but i was asleep alr
so nvm
i freaked a little
then after school i met vanessa n went to the workroom
was so glad that yuhui showed me where to take everything last duty
as we alr had a little prob taking the things
then i was lyk ltr camera no battery again
n
yes
there was NO battery
i'm lyk
the camera battery lyk dun lyk me lykdat
i bery sad can??
then i was lyk so how
n decided to bring one D70 n one D40x (the no batt is D40x)
but D40x batt dun lyk me again n no charge(no batt in the batt.. howeva u phrase it)
so we dunnoe wat to bring
i was lyk try the konica minolta
but vanessa say she dunnoe how use
i used a little b4 during pratice wif zc i think
but i not familiar wif it
so she decided to try our luck n bring the no batt de D40x
so nvm
then we were lyk nid bring wat lens??
lyk telephoto or wide angle
so we were yk late alr n sorta panicky
suddenly
adrian came in
we were lyk so damn relieved to see him
then i was lyk the D40x no batt
n he stretched out his hand
n it was lyk a magical moment(i weird, i noe)
there lay the wonderful D40x's batt
so then we were lyk damn relieved alr n then quickly packed up
then adrian was like go fountain meet but we were suppose to do the drama thingie
which was supposed to be in the choir room or the library
so we lyk huh?
then he was lyk ''bring tripod n wide angle''
n i was lyk damn confused alr
so i was lyk ' i thot go library or choir room shud be take telephoto??'
then he was lyk''thot u taking class photoshoot?''
we were lyk no...
then vanessa was lyk explaining the whole darius thingie to him n he was lyk finally understand
so then he decided that vanessa follow him as she was supposed to hav duty wif him at first
so i was lyk then i go drama thingie alone??
n he was lyk yup
n my heart sank all the way down to my toes n butterflies came up all within me
cause i was damn scared i mess up
n eventually i did
i went up to take the drama thingie
the first shot i took was bout them preparing cause there was nth to take so i decided to try out n that was CLEAR
then after that,
the lens was abit dirty so i decided to clean it
n so i did
then i continued taking
but from the second shot onwards,
all the pics started blurring
so i thot is maybe when i cleaning that time i accidentally left fingerprints or sth
so i leaned it again n agian n again n again n again
but it was alll blur
so i panicked as the skit was only bout 5min++
so i ask liya to run down help me tell vanessa as i was afraid to leave the scene
then i think vanessa told adrian n he ask liya to tell me to remain calm n that he'll send up the camera once he's done
so i chilled a little n stopped taking as it was useless n adrian oso say dun take anymore
my eyes sorta dried up
i mean
i didnt cry
but panicked until scared so eyes watery
then a few minutes ltr
the thingie ended n i was lyk
omg
that felt lyk an eternity up there while walking down the stairs to find adrian
then i found him n vanessa at the science staffroom outside n adrian took the camera n found out.......
that it was on manual focus
n i was lyk thinkin
''wtf''
y i so careless n useless derhs
take so much theory lesson n tests n still can forget bout the focus having a chanvce of being the problem
i suck can??
then i was lyk omg i dunnoe wat to say now
cause i felt lyk sych an idiot n hav no idea wat to do to make up for it
i mean being an idiot is enough alr n a stupid idiot is goddamn worse
so adrian was lyk ''go pt the camera bak''
n so i went
i mean i asnt about to continue standing there lyk a stupid idiot
so i sadly went into the workroom n put everything back n triple check
cause i didnt want to be a bigger idiot by leaving sth out or sth
so then i had to drag myself out of the lab to return the keys to adrian as i didnt noe how i could be such an idiot
so i went back to the house boards there n was lyk return the key n apologise as well
i mean, it was my fault
my fraking fault
then worse was that zixuan was there
n was lyk thkz for helping to take the drama thingie
n i was at a lost for words as i was still thinkin was an idiot i m
so i hav no absolute idea wat to tell him
''that i didnt take any pics so u dun nid thkz me??''
or that i was so stupid as too mess up n u saying thkz is uselessly weird??
i hav no idea so i juz left after adrian said i could
i dun noe if its me being sensitive or its true
i think its true
but when i left,
adrian's face had that''i'm so dissapinted in u'' look
n i was so deflated i juz started tearing
even though i forced myself not to
it is worse foru seniors to be dissapointed in me then to scold me
when u scold me
i wun feel as bad
as i knew i had wad i deserved
but u guys not scolding me juz left me feeling all hollow n pit dark inside
like, i dun noe how to describe
but its the worse feeling i coulde ever hav
then as i walked out of school, i was fighting back tears
not from the duty
but from the seniors not scolding me
i noe i sound lyk a lunatic as ppl wud do anything to get out of a scolding n yet i'm lookin for one
but it will make me feel better
so then i walked walked walked
n suddenly saw siranath
n was lyk omg
then luckily he nvr see me
then i went home n took 25min instead of 15 cause i nidded time alone to calm down n get rid of the embrassing moment
but i doubt it'll ever go away
cause i hav a tendency to remember things for life
i can still remember all the dumb things i did in kindergarten so u think i can so easily forget this??
no is the ans
then when i reached home n went on9
i waited for adrian to come on9
caus ei was afraid he did not hear my apology as he was busy
so then he finally came on9 n i was lyk sorry sorry sorry
but i felt he kinda distant
but maybe he's always lyk this
juz that i thot of him as not lyk this
nvm
i felt damn bad
then i think adrian told darius(according to vanessa who darius called)
then i was on9lyk till morning
typical
then darius open convo n asked if i ok ornot
n i said i was
i mean i m
juz dissapointed in myself
so i kept saying sorry
but i dun noe if hav use
but darius keep saying dun worry its okay
n that its an experience to learn from
n kept saying its okay
then ltr i returned a call from sum1 yesterday
n it turned out to be vanessa's hse
n then she oso kept saying its okay
n that made me tear up all over again cuz darius n vanessa so nice
then i drunk myself in writing in my diary
yes
i keep a paper diary
n i noe that emo ppl di that but i lyk it
n yes its easy to find it
cuz all entries are written in school in between lessons n stuff
then i go home staple or its lyk left on my bed n stuff
so its easy to be found
aniwaes
enough bout emo-ish stuff
i dunnoe wad to do/say/act tomoro
no wait
its todae
now's 12.45am
again morning
typical me
i sorta happy that i can go cca tomoroas i think they gibing out the test thingie then
but i oso dunnoe how to react
i m such a freak
i hope i passed the test as its lyk supposed to kill us n stuff
but i hope all of us will pass wif flying colors(:
afterall
we've been given many many many quality theory lessons(; which i simply lurve<3
ppl think that i lyk theory is freaky but i think theory is deep
n nice n in a way
relaxing
n calming
photo theories
has a soothing effect on me
its weird
but i feelat ease when there's theory
or even test
aniwaes i gotta go sleep soon as i nid wake up early tomoro n last all thru mediaclub
tiring day
but its the weekend alr
n nid chiong art
cuz i damn behind time
monday duedate if not get 0
n i think art will pull up my marks so i'm gonna ace it
i've set my mind to it
n I WILL DO IT!!!
i will update more on the test tomoro
maybe..
if i hav time
lots tests
exams
hmk
sux
so byebyes..
iSabel<3>
12.52am

**will be 1.15++am by the time i sleep
***once again, again.. nvr seem to slp enough but luckily dun get eyebags
*****Lurve all of u<3(:

Blogged @ 8/14/2008 11:40:00 PM
n i live in it. -